Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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