May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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