Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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