maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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