Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
