# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
