He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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