I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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