$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
