She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
