i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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