Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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