Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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