Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
