You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
