Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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