24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy sore nipples Batman
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
