are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
