Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
