Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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