There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
