Do vagina's smell?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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