Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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