trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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