Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
