What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
