I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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