quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm too high and old for this...
as a side note pls kill me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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