the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
one might say we're banned from that church
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
