It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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