i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You are a genius and a whore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
