No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
