Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
