FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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