have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
