and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
