I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
