Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish you could order shots online.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
