he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
