ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
