I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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