10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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