i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
