I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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