dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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