I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
