I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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