Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
