Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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