i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
