first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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